6 Values of a Healthy Spiritual Family
“I am not a CEO, I’m a Father. And my church isn’t a business, it’s a family.”
Immediately Ephesians 3:14 floated through my mind, “I bow my knee to the Father from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named.” The Lord was speaking to me about spiritual family. The idea of healthy spiritual family is not just a sentimental idea; God is a father and we are His family. This is a truth that He emphasizes throughout the Scriptures and I believe right now He is calling the church to operate as the family He has intended.
Part of our challenge is that many of us come from dysfunctional families or churches so we don’t really know what it means to live and love as family. God has answers for our brokenness through the revelation of His love for us. He is offering revelation to the church right now how we can love and live as family.
The following are some thoughts He has impressed on my heart about what it means to live as family. There are certain behaviors healthy families practice and there are certain behaviors they do not practice. This isn’t an exhaustive list, but here are several thoughts on each.
Care – Families care for one another. Through difficulties, crises, and pain, families are present. The church is to be a people who are present for one another through all the difficulties of life. (1 Cor 12:25)
Celebrate – Families celebrate each other’s victories. In a family, when one person wins, we all win. Family means I’m blessed if you are blessed. I want what’s best for you. (Rom 12:15)
Champion – Families encourage one another. Whatever God is leading you to do, I’m going to back you 100%. I want you to succeed so I’m going to do what I can to support you in God’s plans. (1 Thes 5:11)
Challenge – Families exhort each other to go after God with all their hearts. Challenging one another to excel and grow is part of it. Healthy challenges from those who love you is a powerful tool that creates courage. (1 Thes 4:1)
Correct – We need those in our lives that will call us out when we step out of line. This is part of living in family. We don’t just stand by when our brothers and sisters are faltering. In humility we are to call them to repentance and restoration. (2 Tim 2:25)
Comfort – When we are hurting or struggling family is there to offer comfort to us. Being present and connected to be a safe place for those among us who are hurting is critical for families. (2 Cor 1:4)
And then there are things we don’t do to one another:
Slander – Regardless of a person’s shortcomings or weaknesses families never speak negatively about them to others. Family means we work things out together instead of sowing strife and discord about one another. (Prov 16:28)
Expose – Families don’t expose one another’s weaknesses, they cover them. This can be difficult in the case of unrepentant sin that needs to be addressed publicly. But even in those instances families should come together around each other in love to cover one another through failures instead of trying to make an example of them. (Gal 6:1)
Use – Families don’t leverage one another for personal gain. We must quit looking at each other as opportunities to further our ministry platforms. Instead we should figure out how we can serve the destiny that God has for each one. (Gal 5:13)
Quit – Families don’t quit on each other. Family fights for family and we don’t give up. We do whatever is necessary to stay in relationship with one another. And when there has been a breach we do whatever we can to bring reconciliation.
I hope these thoughts spark your heart toward growing in healthy spiritual family. I truly believe that the Church will operate more and more in these dynamics in the days ahead. As we get closer to the Lord’s return we will realize more and more how much we truly need each other.
What do you see as components of healthy spiritual family? I’d love to hear your thoughts.