The Necessity of Saying ‘No’
At the beginning of this year the Lord emphasized to me the essential need of saying ‘no’. He was once again instructing me to say ‘no’ to things that weren’t necessarily evil, but were distracting me from purity of devotion to Him and His calling for my life. This meant I had to say ‘no’ to good things that others were excited about. At times this was costly. It offended some and confused others. It honestly wasn’t fun, but it was necessary for me to move forward in the things of God.
In this current moment of crisis, it’s become crystal clear why the Holy Spirit was speaking this to me. There have been many things I’ve had to say ‘No’ to over the last couple months, that if I’d said yes, I wouldn’t have been able to freely follow His lead right now. Saying ‘No’ can be relationally costly, but ultimately it is far more costly to say ‘Yes’ to something the Lord is not directing.
I want to emphasize again that I believe we’re in a critical hour. Our greatest need is to prioritize the presence of Jesus above everything else in order that we may obediently follow the Lord’s leadership through the myriad challenges of the days ahead. As a result, this will require us to say ‘No’ to good things in order to say ‘Yes’ to God things. The parable of the ten virgins gives us a great example.
THE PARABLE OF THE TEN VIRGINS
Matthew 25:8-9 The foolish ones said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.' 9 "'No,' they replied, 'there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.'
In this parable, it could seem that the wise virgins are stingy and uncaring, yet Jesus actually calls them wise. One of the key reasons they were wise is they got oil before the time was critical. When the moment arrived and oil was an absolute necessity, they had it. They prepared beforehand to make sure they had oil. This required them to say ‘Yes’ to certain things and ‘No’ to other things.
Another reason they were wise is because they said ‘No’ at the most critical moment. When the five foolish virgins realized their own need and demanded the wise to share their oil they were faced with the pressure of not meeting the expectations of those who were close to them. They had to make a hard call – would they share or not. That ‘No’ ended up being the difference between entering the marriage feast with the Lord or being shut out with the foolish.
It’s important to realize that for every ‘Yes’ you give, you will likely have to say ‘No’ to five other things. For example, if I say ‘Yes’ to travel and speak at a conference, I have to say ‘No’ to 1) being at home with my family 2) spending personal time with my wife 3) getting an appropriate amount of rest 4) doing my normal schedule of prayer and study 5) being present with our spiritual family 6) exercising and dieting appropriately and the list goes on. Though travelling to a conference may be a good thing if it is not God thing, the trade-off is costly. The same is true for you.
Maybe it’s not speaking at a conference, but instead it's hanging out late with friends, taking a road-trip, organizing a bridal shower, going shopping, time spent in entertainment or on social media. All these ‘Yes’s’ require saying ‘No’ to other things. There is a righteous ‘No’ that believers must learn to say right now, so that we can say ‘Yes’ to what is most important.
APPLICATION
Especially in light of the moment we are in, I want to encourage you to take inventory and write down what the Lord has invited you to say ‘Yes’ to and subsequently what that will require you to say ‘No’ to. I realize that many of these things may have changed in light of this pandemic. Going through this simple exercise now will help you to clarify how you need to go about fulfilling God’s purposes day to day and in the days ahead, after this pandemic lifts. Are there things you’re saying ‘Yes’ to that you’ve realized have cost you? Ask the Lord to help direct you and give you the courage to say ‘No’ where it's necessary.